Do you own a scarf? Then you're ready.
If you're looking to dip a toe into kink, bondage is a great place to start-after all, most of the tools you need to fulfill your BDSM fantasies are lying around your house already. But, before you grab the nearest scarf and strap your partner to a kitchen chair, there are a few things you should know.
First, there are different ways to participate in bondage. You can use ropes, or just leather or even skin-safe tape. Basically, it's just a form of sex play defined by restraint. The beautiful paradox of bondage is that many people feel sexually freer when they are tied up, "They have no choice but to submit to the wonderful sensations they can experience in a bottom role.''
Interested? When it comes to approaching your partner about trying bondage, remember you don't need to be coy or apologetic about it. It is recommended telling your partner you think bondage is
interesting and that, with their consent, you'd like to try it. If they're nervous, u can research online before talking about how you can tailor the details of bondage to your mutual desires.
If this isn't your first time incorporating BDSM into your partnership, then this process might be second nature to you. But either way, preparation is always necessary. Here's a few things to keep in mind before getting started:
How do I practice bondage safely?
First, establish consent and negotiate. "You want to give each other intense rapture but cause no harm," Make sure your partner is aware of what you're about to do because you've discussed it or they've read about it or tried it before. Part of that consent talk should include creating safe words or safe signals, as well as negotiations (the BDSM term for talking about what each side wants and doesn't want, like "I don't want heavy pain"), so you're both in agreement on those initial boundaries.
Keep the convo going. Consent should be an ongoing conversation if you're into rope play or want to try other forms of BDSM. "Incorporating consensual bondage into sex play builds and fortifies essential trust between partners, and requires that communication be deft and clear."
Research is crucial. Rope bondage is never risk-free-there is the possibility of nerve damage, among other things-so it's best for all participants to familiarize themselves with any safety issues that can pop up during practice. Doing sufficient research will give you a better sense of where to tie and how tight the ties should be.
When you're first trying bondage, do some experimentation. Take time to feel out your partner, see which ties feel most comfortable and arousing for them, "The worst possible thing you can do is to assume that one person can handle the same level as another person. Bondage is not one-size-fits all." Have an escape plan if they start to panic or feel bad-keep sharp scissors around in case they want to get out immediately.
If executed correctly and with caution, bondage can help you and your partner form a strong bond of trust. "When the rope tier, rigger, or dominant listens well, notices beautifully, and attunes to the one being tied, there is a sense of growing intimacy, anticipation, and arousal.
How should I tie the knots?
It's not only helpful to practice tying knots on your own before play, but necessary. "You don't want to fumble and make ties that fall apart under stress, are too tight or too loose, or otherwise disappoint your partner and your own standards. Practice tying up your own ankles with different knot styles until you can achieve the look and feel easily.
"If you like the aesthetics of ropes, you might want to bone up on the knots you know from Boy/Girl Scouts or the ones you learned to tie for sailing," They don't need to be super fancy, as long as you know how to quickly unknot them.
How can I practice aftercare?
"Aftercare to BDSM is like cuddling after intercourse: something that adds kindness and emotional support to the end of satisfying play." The purpose of aftercare is to make sure both participants level out mentally and physically, and it can look like whatever you want-so make sure you discuss it with your partner before starting, "Aftercare, just like any other need, is unique to each person.
Once you have a handle on aftercare, safety practices, and the other bondage basics, it's finally time to play. Get ready to explore these 18 best bondage positions:
1
Conquistador
Difficulty level: Beginner
How to: Missionary is the easiest possible position for beginner bondage. Simply lie on your back with your arms above your head and your legs spread, then have your partner bind your wrists and ankles to the bed frame.
2
Cowgirl
Difficulty level: Beginner
How to: Have your partner lie on their back and bind their wrists and ankles, either together or to the bed frame, with a silk scarf, a tie, or heck, even your own underwear. Once they're adequately restrained, straddle them facing forward or away, whichever you prefer.
Because they're tied down, you can switch it up as often as you see fit-playing with your clit, or maybe pulsing a bullet vibe on your partner's perineum, nipples, or clit. Basically, you get to do whatever you want-you're in charge.
3
Leap Frog
Difficulty level: Beginner
How to: Lie with your stomach flat on the mattress (or wherever you're going to be having sex) and have your partner bind your wrists together over your head. Maybe have them blindfold you, too, because why not?
Then, have them lift your hips to enter you from behind, keeping your shoulders down and your knees rooted while they thrust.
4
Rear Entry Standing
Difficulty level: Beginner
How to: Bend over and have your partner bind your wrists to your ankles, with your feet anchored shoulder-width apart for better balance.
Have your partner enter you from behind, keeping their hands on your hips to make sure you don't topple over. Try a hands-free couples vibrator, for added clitoral stimulation.
5
Pinball Wizard
Difficulty level: Beginner
How to: Lie down with your back flush to the mattress and then lift your hips into the air, as if you were doing a bridge in yoga. Then, have your partner bind your wrists behind your back and grab your butt, so you can wrap your legs around their waist as they thrust. (This one is like the leap frog, but in reverse.)
6
Seated Rear Entry
Difficulty level: Beginner
How to: For this one, grab a sturdy chair and park your partner's butt in it. Then, tie their wrists and ankles to the frame, and once they're ready to go-after a little oral sex, maybe-straddle them and pump up and down. Whether you face them or turn away is entirely up to you.
7
Spoons
Difficulty level: Beginner
How to: First, grab two ties, one for your eyes and one for your wrists. Have your partner blindfold you and bind your wrists in front of you, so they hang down by your hips. Once you're all tied up, they can take the reins in foreplay, before rolling you onto your side and entering you from behind. As they rock into you, they can surprise you with nipple tweaks and stroke and play with stimulating your clit. The best part: You get to lie back and enjoy the feels.
8
The Rocking Horse
Difficulty level: Beginner
How to: Have your partner kneel and sit back on their legs. Loosely bind their wrists together behind their back and sit with your back facing your partner's front. From there, straddle your partner's thighs, bending your knees so that your legs are alongside your partner's. Your partner can then use their hips to thrust, without using their arms or legs.
9
The Lap Dance
Difficulty level: Beginner
How to: Have your partner sit in an armless chair with their ankles loosely bound together and their wrists tied together behind the back of the chair. Face your partner and straddle their lap. For extra leverage, hold onto your partner's shoulders while you ride.
10
Knees To Chest
Difficulty level: Intermediate
How to: To best introduce bondage in a knees-to-chest position, have your partner bind your ankles and calves together. Then, while you're lying on your back, drape your legs over their shoulders as your partner penetrates you. You can also make use of those restraints or even cuffs, and have your partner bind your wrists above your head.
11
Downward Dog
Difficulty level: Intermediate
How to: For this one, assume roughly the same position as leap frog, but have your partner handcuff your wrists behind your back and spread your legs. They should kneel between your legs and enter you from behind while your body is flat against the mattress, ground, kitchen table, wherever. Then, have them reach a hand around to stroke your clitoris.
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