1. Learn Resiliency
When faced with challenges, trust that you will become stronger by virtue of facing these challenges. Trust that there is a lesson in every setback and look for that lesson. Focus on how you can grow and refuse to be deterred by inconvenience.
2. Be Brave
Face your challenges willingly. Choose to engage with that which you fear, look at your weaknesses, look at your fears and work through them voluntarily. Otherwise, that which you fear will have power over you.
3. Take Responsibility
Take responsibility for your own life and for the outcomes of your decisions. Avoid blaming others-while you have been hurt or victimized, focus on finding ways to heal and grow rather than being defined by that which hurt you.
4. Learn Optimism
Trust that things will get better, and ensure this through productive and consistent actions. It's hard to be pessimistic when you continue to show up for yourself, continue to act in productive and healthy ways, and make the most of every situation.
5. Set Boundaries
To preserve your mental wellbeing, it's necessary to say no to the things that drain you. If we want to be strong and work towards a better version of ourselves, we cannot continue to give our time to people or things that makes us feel insecure, weak or disempowered. Part of this can be accomplished by reducing your need for approval and validation, but ultimately if we associate with people that are critical, pessimistic and hateful- it's nearly impossible to fully insulate yourself from their influence.
6. Believe In Abundance
It's important you have an abundance mindset. Part of staying resilient and optimistic is through the belief that the world is abundant, and just because you miss one opportunity doesn't mean you missed your shot. Seeing resources as abundant allow you to not be controlled by the idea of scarcity, or to be swayed when you get rejected.
7. Be Humble
Accept when you're wrong. Some people are controlled by status, their need to be seen as a perfect intellectual or an amazing leader causes them to reject their failings or bad calls. If you are controlled by the desire to ''be right'' all the time, then you will live in resistance and develop a defensive disposition. Being defensive is not a quality that comes from a place of strength. Be open to learning, no matter how much you think you know.
8. Learn Self-Discipline
Infantile people despise hard work and have a low tolerance for challenges. Honor your commitments, accept the reality that relationships, careers, family, friends will have challenges. Just because something is challenging doesn't mean you should run from it. The more we can learn to resolve, work through challenges, sacrifice short term pleasure for long term gain- the better off we'll be. People who cower the moment things get though have no ability to tolerate stress, to sacrifice immediate pleasure for their long term gain, or to work through setbacks. Having a routine that incorporates actions that serve your long term best interest (such as working out, cooking healthy meals, going to bed on time, reducing or eliminating substance use, nurturing healthy relationships) is ideal. You might not always feel up to the routine, some days you might want to binge and skip your workout, no communication with your partner, stay up late and party. While some flexibility is desired in any routine, derailing your routine for the sake of short term gain is a guaranteed track to aimlessness.
9. Master Delay Gratification
This is self-explanatory, and there is so much literature covering why delayed gratification is a marker of success and mental health. Go on a 'dopamine cleanse''. Whatever your vice is- be it gaming, Netflix, weed, sex addiction, porn, binge eating etc. all of these dopamine hit activities should not have control over you. Some people are genuinely controlled by their desire for instant gratification, and this is one of the best ways to cultivate weakness.
10. Act in ways that prove to yourself that you are a strong, competent, and capable person. Mental strength should not come from a wish, but from proven actions that you will persist, that you will thrive, that you will adapt, and that you will continue to improve.
We cannot have mental stability and strength until we start acting in ways that prove our strength. Mindset emerges in large part from action. If you tend to cower and shatter in the face of challange, then you have no reason to believe you're a brave person. That believe is nothing but a wish. But if you constantly act in small ways that demonstrate those virtues, then having a resilient mentality will emerge organically by virtue of the actual qualities you embody.
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